How Never to handle bad breath

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We’ve all been there. You round the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work if you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you think. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that won’t ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy attempting to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess told me ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn is an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”


Somehow, we’d like to believe that our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there surely is something less than stellar about the way they are sounding. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The thing is that no one knows they have a problem. We appear to be immune to our own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how can you tell someone that their breathe is making you have a problem differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, whether it’s someone you know and so are comfortable with, you can try honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own set of problems. Do you play it off like it’s a one-time occurrence you merely noticed and hope that mentioning it requires care of the situation for good? Can you sit them down and have a serious discussion which could ultimately embarrass them or cause you to look like the bad person? How will キラハクレンズ respond to either scenario? You’d wish to be told if you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Can you feel comfortable being told by this person that you have bad breath? Do you really know them well enough to be discussing this situation with them?

They are all important questions whose answers will change with each unique situation. Still, there are a few things it is possible to avoid saying which are universal across all situations. I’ve taken the liberty of listing a few of them below. Remember, honesty is the greatest policy, but brutal honesty is often unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is that your breath or did I blow my nose immediately after wiping my ass?

# 2 And now here’s me with the elements: Thanks, me! Well it looks like there is a stank front moving due east from wherever the mouth area happens to be. We’re considering a 100% potential for Halitosis throughout the rest of your life. Sports is next accompanied by today�s lottery numbers. KEEP TUNED IN!

# 3 I don’t mean to be rude however your horrible breath is melting my face. To have to stand here and listen to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever note that “Alien” movie where the alien is breathing in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes as the thing is so scary and because it’s saliva is an acid that may eat through metal? This is usually a lot like that because despite the fact that your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will which is scaring the crap outta me, my friend. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…

This is why, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty isn’t always the best policy. Better yet, why not just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

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