ブレスマイルウォッシュ ‘ve all been there. You round the corner to your cubical prepared to start the day’s work when you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.
“Here we go again…”, you imagine. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that wont ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy trying to keep it from permeating my nose.”
“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess explained ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn is an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”
Somehow, we’d like to think that our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there’s something less than stellar concerning the way they are sounding. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The thing is that no one knows they will have a problem. We appear to be immune to our own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.
So how do you tell someone that their breathe is causing you to are having issues differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, whether it’s someone you know and are comfortable with, you can test honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own group of problems. Can you play it off like it’s a one-time occurrence you just noticed and hope that mentioning it takes care of the situation for good? Do you sit them down and have a serious discussion that could ultimately embarrass them or make you appear to be the bad person? How will they respond to either scenario? You’d wish to be told in the event that you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Would you feel comfortable being told by this person who you have bad breath? You don’t know them well enough to be discussing this situation with them?
They are all important questions whose answers will change with each unique situation. Still, there are several things you can avoid saying which are universal across all situations. I have taken the liberty of listing a few of them below. Remember, honesty is a good policy, but brutal honesty is often unnecessary.
# 1 Gee, is that your breath or did I blow my nose immediately after wiping my ass?
# 2 And now here’s me with the elements: Thanks, me! Well it appears like there’s a stank front moving due east from wherever the mouth area happens to be. We’re considering a 100% chance of Halitosis throughout the rest you will ever have. Sports is next accompanied by todayï¿½s lottery numbers. Stay Tuned!
# 3 I don’t mean to be rude however your horrible breath is melting my face. To possess to stand here and listen to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever note that “Alien” movie where the alien is breathing in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes because the thing is so scary and because it’s saliva is an acid that can eat through metal? This is the lot like that because even though your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will and that is scaring the crap outta me, my friend. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…
So you see, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty isn’t always the best policy. Even better, why not just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.