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How NOT to handle bad breath

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We’ve all been there. You across the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work while you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you think. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that will not ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy attempting to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess told me ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn is an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”

Somehow, we’d like to think our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there surely is something less than stellar about the way they are sounding. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The thing is that no one knows they will have a problem. We appear to be immune to our own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how can you tell someone that their breathe is making you have a problem differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, whether it’s someone you know and are comfortable with, you can try honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own group of problems. Can you play it off like it’s a one-time occurrence you just noticed and hope that mentioning it takes care of the situation once and for all? Do you sit them down and have a serious discussion that could ultimately embarrass them or cause you to look like the bad person? How will they respond to either scenario? You’d desire to be told in the event that you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Can you feel safe being told by this person who you have bad breath? Do you really know them well enough to be discussing this situation with them?

They are all important questions whose answers will change with each unique situation. Still, there are several things you can avoid saying that are universal across all situations. I’ve taken the liberty of listing a few of them below. Remember, honesty is a good policy, but brutal honesty is often unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is your breath or did I blow my nose immediately after wiping my ass?

# 2 And today here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me! Well it looks like there is a stank front moving due east from wherever the mouth area happens to be. We’re considering a 100% chance of Halitosis throughout the rest you will ever have. Sports is next accompanied by today�s lottery numbers. Stay Tuned!

# 3 I don’t mean to be rude but your horrible breath is melting my face. To have to stand here and pay http://kodomokousyuu.cloud-line.com/blog/ to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever see that “Alien” movie where the alien is sucking in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes as the thing is indeed scary and because it’s saliva can be an acid that may eat through metal? This is a lot like that because even though your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will and that is scaring the crap outta me, my friend. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…

So you see, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty isn’t always the best policy. Better yet, why not just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

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